Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
