I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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