Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
