So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
