what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
