Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
