Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
