I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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