Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize