I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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