I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
