I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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