The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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