I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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