Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
