it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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