How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Even the bartender felt bad for me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Randomize
