I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
