thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
