real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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