Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
