the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
