If i come over, it means nothing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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