I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
