My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
