in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
