i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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