I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
