how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
