Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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