im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The beer is more important than you right now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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