I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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