omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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