East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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