This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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