once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
