I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
