i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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