so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize