dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize