Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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