In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
