I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
