dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize