I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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