when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
