god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
