he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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