We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
