Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
