hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
