I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Rumble strips road head = magical
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we're so committed to being not committed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
