so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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