Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
