Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
