We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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