Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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