No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
