3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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