Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize