You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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