She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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